Break ups can feel like the end of the world and can massively affect your confidence and self esteem. If you have had to deal with a tough breakup recently, here are a few tips on how to find yourself again after a breakup.
Process the tough breakup
But don’t dwell, even though the drive to analyse what happened can feel uncontrollable. It’s completely normal to fixate on everything that went wrong, but find ways to take your mind off it when it happens, get yourself the gym or do something that makes you feel good and give your mind a break! You will most likely swing back and forth between disbelief and acceptance, and that’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up, as asking questions and replaying the breakup is a normal part of processing what happened.
Focus on ‘You’
By doing this it will allow you to give yourself another chance to try again. After a breakup people often go through a phase where they blame themselves, especially if the breakup was out of your control or you’ve had zero closure. However, nothing good ever comes out of blaming yourself. Journalist Katie Bogen shared on Vox that forgiving herself after a breakup meant reclaiming herself: “I embarked on a quest to reclaim myself, to turn this breakup into an opportunity for renewal and self-discovery, rather than an excuse to feel sorry for myself.”
Nourish your body with healthy food and exercise
Apart from forgiving herself, Bogen also started going to the gym and eating healthy: “I went shopping with my aunt and bought myself lush greens, miniature summer squash, ripe orchard apples, frozen lemonade. I gave my body what it wanted.” Meanwhile, Elite Daily sex and dating writer Sheena Sharma wrote that one of the best ways to start loving yourself again is by getting a ‘revenge body’. This wasn’t just to get fit and healthy, it was also to help get rid of the negative vibes. “When all is said and done, I want to be able to make a statement. One that says: I refuse to let breakups destroy me.”
Upgrade your wardrobe
What better way to lift your confidence than retail therapy?! Spend some time reinventing your look, try something new and be adventurous. It’s not to say you have to completely change who you are, but giving yourself and your wardrobe a makeover can help boost your confidence. Whether you are off to work, out with your friends, working out, or even going to bed, one of the best ways to make yourself feel good is to get clothes that make you feel good about yourself.
Check out our Fashion section for ways to ‘Revamp’ your wardrobe!
Get more sleep
It’s best to try and get at least eight hours of quality sleep every night as it’s incredibly replenishing to your body especially after a tough breakup. In case you are finding it hard to get some decent shut-eye because of painful thoughts, keep a journal by the side of your bed and write down your worries, anxieties, and pain so that you get a form of therapeutic release. Drink a cup of chamomile tea or play some soothing music to help you relax and calm down. Meditation and Yoga exercises can also help as it allows you to calm your thoughts and help you understand that some things are beyond your control.
Spend more time with your friends
If in the past, you have taken your friends for granted (it can easily happen in an unhealthy relationship) it’s time to go back to them for some meaningful quality time. Your friends can help you get through a breakup as they can reflect back to you the bad things about your ex that you were too blind to see. Your friends will also remind you of all the great things about you, enough to help you love yourself again.
While breakups are bad they are not the end of the world, and often they finish because it wasn’t meant to be. You should never feel like you are staying in a relationship because you have no choice. Here on the Daily Struggle we believe it is important to be independent in a relationship and not always put other people’s happiness above your own. You only get one shot at life, so make it count by being with someone who truly appreciates you.
Just a group of real women dealing with life’s daily struggles! Want to write for us? Email: hello@thedailystruggle.co.uk
