Well snatch me bald, another Love Island romance has come to a dramatic end and Amy has left the villa, teaching us once again the heartbreak of catching feelings for the wrong one. Like most of the UK, I’d cancelled Amy pretty early on, but my heart definitely went out to her when Curtis publicly and brutally binned her right off, only to start two-steppin’ with her mate in front of her very eyes a couple of days later.
The poor girl really thought she’s found true love, but like many girls before her, it wasn’t mutual.
But we’ve all fell for a lad who’s no good for us, in fact in 2019 the only thing worse than catching chlamydia, or whatever sexy virus Planet Earth decides to throw at us next, is catching feelings for that oh so questionable fuck buddy.
Falling for someone is great for, you know, emotionally stable people who are honest about their mutual admiration for each other. But for the rest of us, surviving on a steady diet of dick all summer doesn’t necessarily mean that catching feelings for the lad attached to it is a good idea.
So, here are the emotional stages of catching feeling for a wrongun – because it’s always good to prepare for the inevitable.
DENIAL
It starts off slow. You start noticing yourself weighing up his flaws against the list of batshit unrealistic requirements you have on your list of things to make him your type on paper. But despite your best efforts, you still don’t want to vomit when he sends you the tongue out emoji. Weird.
ANGER
You accidentally see his name under a bikini pic of one of the dumped Islanders; (the one endlessly plugging charcoal toothpaste before her fifteen minutes of fame runs out and the world moves on to the next piece of meat) and honestly how fucking dare he. How fucking DARE he?! You swipe to see the posts people you follow have liked, furiously scrolling through waiting to find something you know will piss you off more. It’s a dangerous little game, but someone’s got to play it.
BARGAINING
The internal struggle begins; your logical brain knows you shouldn’t text him and you certainly shouldn’t double text him – but your thumbs have a different idea.
Just as you’ve finally talked yourself out of texting him, you’ve talked yourself back into it. What if you just send an emoji? Surely he’ll see that as breezy and non-commital? Surely.
DEPRESSION
This is it; rock bottom. You’ve systematically scrutinised his entire social media presence to see if he’s been telling the truth about his wherabouts, only to emerge, bleary-eyed, an hour later wondering whether the girl in the photos from Barcelona 2013 was his cousin or an ex. You know you’re better than this, but here you are.
ACCEPTANCE that you’re catching feelings
You’d literally just decided to block his number and enjoy your summer when PING, there’s the “what u upto?” text. FFS, the smug bastard really has got a way with words. You could ignore it, but you haven’t actually got any plans, so it couldn’t hurt to meet up with him. After all, it’s only a dick appointment… isn’t it?
Jen is our resident wellness and features editor here at The Daily Struggle. You will probably find her on the beach, painting her house or writing about magick and motherhood.
