When you have been in a long-term relationship, it can be easy to start going through the motions with your partner. Many people start to feel like they are becoming disconnected from their partner when their relationship falls into a passionless routine.
If you and your partner struggle to connect emotionally, it may be worth seeking relationship counselling. Professional couples’ therapists can help restore a struggling relationship and giving you both the tools you need to thrive.
Emotional connection is an essential part of any relationship. Learning how to be emotionally intimate and vulnerable with your partner will be valuable when endeavouring to cultivate a sustainable and healthy relationship.
But how can you emotionally reconnect with your partner when emotional intimacy becomes less of a priority?
Don’t Let Disconnection Last
When you begin to notice that you and your partner have become distant, make it a top priority to sit down with them and talk things through. Your partner may be feeling the same; it makes no sense to feel emotionally disconnected separately when you could be working it out together as soon as possible.
If you are deliberately staying distant because of an argument, try to get to the root of the problem rather than staying silent to punish your partner. Good communication skills are essential when attempting to reconnect emotionally.
Do Activities Together
When you’ve been together for a while, it can be easy to fall into ritualistic date night patterns where you never end up connecting on a deeper level. To cultivate emotional intimacy and rebuild connections, try to do activities you wouldn’t usually do and step out of your comfort zone together. Be more intentional about the time you spend together; have the tough conversations and the funny ones and everything in between!
You could finally go through your mutual bucket list or make your favourite meal together. It doesn’t have to be an extravagant or outlandish activity, just make sure that you are making each other a priority and are using the experience to actively connect.
Writing love letters to each other can also be a good activity to take up if you want to build stronger connections. The physical evidence of your partner’s love can mean a lot. Letters are also helpful for people who find it hard to verbally articulate how they feel. Love letters give you an opportunity to gush about your significant other without feeling pressured or forced. Plus, it’s always nice to receive a surprise letter!
Practice Being Vulnerable
No matter how well you know your partner, it can often be pretty hard to be truly vulnerable with them. Do you ever find yourself gearing up to say something, but never manage to get it out? Emotional intimacy is built from honesty and trust. Being vulnerable can be scary, but it also has to potential to bring you and your loved one closer together.
Make an effort to tell your partner something you would usually bottle up. In return, they might be vulnerable with you as well. You’ll be closer than ever in no time!
Show Your Appreciation
Don’t just shower your partner in love on the big important days, but make sure to show them how much you appreciate them for the smaller things too. Showing how much you love and appreciate your partner often will make you both feel good!
Learning how to express why you cherish your partner will also remind you both why you got together in the first place. Often the smallest act of kindness or affection can be the most significant. It is these significant everyday moments that will help rebuild emotional connection.
If you are prone to only noticing the bad things (as we all often do!), try to make an effort to see the good things, your partner does. Remind yourself of their qualities and make sure you let them know that you have been noticing what they do. Share these positive feelings with each other, not the negative nagging ones!
Give Yourselves Time
Emotionally reconnecting with a partner can be an ongoing and ever-evolving process. Let yourselves have the necessary time to relearn each other’s quirks and needs. Try not to get frustrated with each other when someone gets it wrong; be patient and kind, connection will come. Remember that you’re in this together, you’ve got this!
Read next: why it’s important to stay independent in your relationship.
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