What not to do at the office Christmas party

The work office Christmas party is one of those calendar events that you’re either going to love or loathe, usually depending on how much you like your colleagues. I’ve been on awkward Christmas do’s, drunken Christmas do’s and even one particularly bizarre do at a Bingo hall.

Anyway, here’s what you shouldn’t be doing at your work Christmas do…

Talk business

There’s absolutely nothing worse than someone who insists on talking about work while the rest of the group are drinking to forget about it. So if you start noticing groups scattering and reforming elsewhere when you mention Trello and progress reports, turn it in!

Go home with someone

If you’ve been in love with ‘Ben in admin’ for the last 6 years and this is the only time you’ve felt confident (read: bladdered) enough to make a move then I’ll give you full permission to give it a go – but 99% of the time hooking up with a colleague at the office Christmas party is a huge mistake. Not only will it be the talk of the whole office come Monday, (despite both of you swearing not to breathe a word about it) but you have to spend almost every day with this person afterwards and nobody needs another reason to have a little cry in the carpark before work.

Kick off

Alcohol and irritating coworkers are never a good mix, but using the Christmas do as the setting to let out a year’s worth of pent-up resentment and frustration is never a good idea. But, depending on how much you hate your colleagues, this can often be a difficult one to avoid. I’d suggest choosing a ‘sponsor’ before hand to stop you from doing anything stupid – kind of like AA sponsors, but instead of stopping you from drinking, they’ll stop you from calling Stella in HR a ‘fat gobshite’.

Own up

It’s all too tempting to own up to our misdemeanors after a few drinks at the best of times, but the office Christmas party is even worse. You’re lured into a false sense of security; you’re relaxed, tipsy and actually getting on with your boss for the first time all year – so it’s only natural that you might think of all your workplace fuck-ups as ‘cute anecdotes’ rather than grounds for dismissal… but tread very carefully.

That said, at one office Christmas party a few years back, a girl I knew owned up to exaggerating her expenses and then initiated a toast in which she screamed, “here’s to you wankshaft” at the boss – so I guess it can always be worse.

Ask for a raise

There’s nothing worse than someone creeping around the boss all night, trying to brown-nose their way to a pay rise – not to mention the fact that your boss will see it as unprofessional, (if he/she isn’t too drunk to even remember.) The Christmas party is neither the time, nor the place – you’re better off just singing karaoke, less risk involved.

Finally, have fun. Just try not to be a dick and you should be fine – after all, this is the one time of year you might actually enjoy the company of people who you work with!