Stages of grief: Not seeing your hairdresser during lockdown

The world is a scary place right now; and with the new government restrictions ensuring that we all stay in our homes in a bid to fight this terrible virus, we’re all starting to feel the pressure.

Not least, because it’s finally dawned on a lot of us that we won’t quite be emerging from our homes the goddesses we entered as. 

With a bear minimum of three weeks before we see our beloved beauticians again, (and let’s face it, it’s likely to be a lot longer) there’s going to be a lot of partners who finally see our real lashes, roots and nail beds. Hell, we’re going to be seeing them for the first time in a LONG time too.

But girls, we’re all in this together, and so you know that you’re not alone, here are the emotional stages of having no hairdresser during lockdown.  

No Hairdresser Stage One: Denial

You can’t really be expected to go months without getting your roots done, surely? Let’s be honest, you already needed them doing at least a month ago. There must be a way. You could wear a mask, or a full body suit.. or she could stick her hands through a window? Come on…

Stage Two: Anger

You’re furious at yourself for not getting your roots done every 6 weeks like you’re TOLD you. You’re furious at the virus for EXISTING. But most of all, you’re absolutely fucking LIVID at the people who can’t follow simple instructions and STAY AT HOME. You ever getting your hair done again, oh and PEOPLE’S LIVES are at stake. 

Stage Three: Bargaining

He only said three weeks, you can go three weeks. Three weeks is fine, you would have done that anyway. But deep down, you know it’s probably not going to be three weeks, and deep down you know you’re going to emerge from this looking like Chewbacca. 

Stage Four: Depression

You feel personally attacked by a Danny Devito meme. You’ve eaten you’re entire doomsday shop in the space of four days, and you’ve never been this pale. You haven’t even done your skincare routine for the last two nights, because if your hair is going down the nick then lord knows everything else is too. 

Stage Five: Acceptance

After a double vodka and a few strong words to yourself you’ve decided that this is your time to shine. For years you’ve been paying over the odds for lush locks, but not anymore. You’re going to learn to do your own roots. Yes you may look like Hagrid after a heavy one at the GBar, but you’re a strong independent woman, and bitch… it’s time to box dye. 

LAWD, help us all!

If you’re stuck with no hairdresser and no appointment any time soon, check out our guide to getting a bouncy salon blow dry at home!